What It Means To Be Loved
by xBuffysGirlx
Summary: "For 5 months 8 days, my wife and I waited. Getting ready for our baby girl. But when he called the doctor said I need to see you. And could you come in soon?" Song-Fic, Future-Fic, Caskett.
1. The Call

**What It Means To Be Loved**

**Hey guys! So I decided to do my first song-fic. The song is "What It Means To Be Loved" by Mark Schultz. The song itself pretty much tells the story, but I'm going to add my own Caskett spin to it! Enjoy!**

Chapter 1: The Call

_Rick Castle's POV_

This was the happiest time of our lives. We had been married 2 years and we were now preparing for our baby. A little girl. Yes, I was getting a second daughter. Alexis was of course over the moon when we told her. She also instantly got very interested in keeping Kate in good health during the pregnancy.

Yes, Kate had just passed her 5 month mark. To be exact, she was 5 months and 8 days pregnant. We were working on putting the crib together when we received the call. It was her doctor.

Kate had been the one to answer the phone. And I so vividly remember the look on her face and the words that escaped her mouth. "Oh, okay. I'll be there tonight." She had said in a low tone. There was no sign on her face that she had been laughing and smiling just minutes before.

It was only after she hung up the phone and I convinced her to take a seat that I dared to ask what he said. She informed me that he hadn't said much, but he had said enough to cause her worry. All he had said was that he needed to see her, and asked if she could come in soon. Naturally, that would cause any expectant mother worry.

However, as soon as we finished our dinner we left for the doctor's office. Thankfully he didn't have many patients and was able to bring us in quickly. Sometimes waiting is the worst part.

When we entered his office his face didn't bear the same smile that it had when we had last visited him. Oh yes, that time when he had told us that our unborn child was a little girl.

He asked us to sit down, he was still not smiling. I took Kate's hand in mine as soon as I saw the look on her face. It was a face she often used at work when faced with a criminal. It was her brave face, but I could see she was falling apart inside. She needed to know.

Thankfully, our doctor wasn't the kind to hold back. He was a very compassionate man, meaning he could easily understand that he wouldn't enjoy being in our situation either. So without beating around the bush, he let us know.

Yes, he told us that out of the many tests he had done on Kate during our last visit, one had stood out. We listened closely, however after he mentioned what that one test had said, we both lost focus. The test had said our baby may not live to be a year.

This was not what we had expected. We had expected to hold our baby girl in our arms within four months. We had expected to have to no longer worry, to be a family.

I was the first to get back to reality. Kate was still dazed it seemed. She didn't move. She didn't blink, she didn't smile, I wasn't even sure if she was breathing.

It was killing me inside, I knew that. But I also knew that it must be killing Kate equally as much, maybe even more. The doctor was going through the medical terms and statistics, but we didn't hear him.

I squeezed my wife's hand lightly, and then she moved for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. She didn't dare look into my eyes, knowing she would probably break down. Yes, she was still wearing her cop face.

Her attention was turned back to the doctor. His face was full of sympathy, which obviously told us he couldn't really do anything to prevent this. He leaned forward, took his glasses off and looked into her eyes. He only had one question. "What do you want to do?"

Kate didn't say anything for a moment, she just stared at him. However, she didn't seem angry or hurt, she was just lost in thought. She took a moment to look down at her swollen belly, where our baby girl was silently sleeping. She let her hand rest on it as she looked up again, a small smile now on her face. She had her answer.

"I want to give her the world… and I want to hold her hand. I want to be her mom for as long as I can." Kate said, now smiling as brightly as she had when the day had started.

"And I want to live every moment until that day comes… I'm gonna show her what it means to be loved." Kate said, now looking into my eyes. That was when I knew she would be okay. She wasn't going to let this discourage her. She was going to bring this baby into the world. And so was I.

**So… What did you guys think? I know, it's kind of emotionally tragic, but if you take a moment to listen to the song, you'll know that things will brighten up. By the way, does anyone have any baby name suggestions?**

**-Linda.**


	2. Johanna Hope Castle

**What It Means To Be Loved**

**Wow! I don't think I've ever gotten so many story alerts in one day before! I'm glad people are enjoying this story so much! So thank you to: a shadow in the dark, Always-Snow, athrynkay, BellaBellaCullen1, country12, Crimelover11, kaner88, kelharp80, LadyAilith, MaFan, michbacz, peacelovecastle and shazam12 for adding this story to their story alerts!  
>Also, thank you Always-Snow, CastleFan1012, Cranbs and michbacz for adding it to your favourites!<br>And thank you to michbacz for leaving a review!  
>Bless you all!<br>Now, enjoy the 2****nd**** chapter!**

Chapter 2: Johanna Hope Castle

_Rick Castle's POV_

Things definitely changed after that doctor's visit. At first we had considered keeping this to ourselves, but only 2 days passed until we knew we needed to tell our family. Kate told her father, and I told my Mother and Alexis.

Mother seemed to handle things pretty well, but Alexis had started crying. It was then and only then that I clued into how much her little sister meant to her. When we had announced the pregnancy, she had been overjoyed. But I only took it as her being happy for Kate and I. I didn't know she had longed for a sibling so badly.

Kate of course also had to tell Gates about what was going on, who immediately insisted that Kate stayed on desk duty until the baby was born… If the baby was born…

So we spent each day, watching every minute, and praying for our baby girl. Neither Kate nor I had considered ourselves to be very religious, but it seemed that ever since we got the news we had gotten closer and closer to God, practically begging him to keep our daughter strong, safe and healthy.

Kate of course had a lot of extra doctor's appointments, just to check up on how our baby was developing. She was also on a lot of vitamins and she had changed her diet a bit. She was trying everything for this baby.

However, as the baby grew, so did Kate. And as the baby developed, so did Kate. Not only did her diet change, her size, mood and habits did as well. Once I woke up at 2 am to find her cooking a turkey. When I questioned her about it, she had no other explanation other than that she was craving some turkey. Yes, some turkey. Not a whole one, that's for sure. Half the bird ended up in the garbage.

However, time was passing by, which was a good thing. Another good thing was that Kate wasn't experiencing any pain or stress, which meant our baby girl was fine for the time being.

It was in the middle of Kate's 8th month of pregnancy when my mother decided to throw her a baby shower. Alexis was on board, and soon enough she had Lanie in on it. They made a plan and told me that all I had to do was keep her out of the house for an hour and then I could bring her home.

Well, keeping a worried 8 month pregnant woman out of the house was not easy. Especially since she could read me so well that she knew I was up to something. However, I assured her nothing was wrong and she went along with it. Although it was very obvious that she was getting cranky with me.

But as soon as I brought her home she forgave me. Because when she opened the door she saw cake, presents, balloons and streamers. She looked at me in shock, then at everyone who was there. There was of course my Mother, Alexis and Lanie. But Ryan, Jenny and Esposito were there as well, along with Kate's father.

I remember looking at Kate's face and seeing nothing but shock. She had not expected this. The plan had worked. Her shocked expression eventually changed to one of joy, and that was when she turned to look at me. She quickly gave me a kiss and the laughed.

"You knew about this!" She exclaimed before turning to Lanie who was holding out her arms to hug her.

I remember all the gifts she received that day. Some for her, some for our daughter, but what I remember most about that day was the look on her face. During those two hours at the shower, I could see no fear in her face. None at all. It was the first time since that awful doctor's visit that Kate showed nothing but happiness, just pure happiness. And oh, how I had missed her being happy.

As soon as she hit her 9 month mark, the worry really began to kick in. She began worrying about complications during delivery, possible traffic jams as we drove to the hospital, and of course the worry of forgetting something at home.

However, with Mother and Alexis around it was impossible to forget anything. They both helped pack Kate's hospital bag, and checked it frequently just in case Kate decided to take something out and put something else in.

I also called our doctor, making sure he would be the one to perform the delivery along with the best nurses in the city. I also talked to Lanie since Kate wanted her in the room with her as well.

After everything was under control, all we could do was wait. And we didn't have to wait long. Kate was 9 months and 3 days pregnant when she felt the first contraction. She had been relaxing on the couch when it occurred, but she knew what it was right away and called for me instantly.

We didn't rush, because we didn't want to stress. Mother and Alexis gathered Kate's things as I called our doctor, making sure he was at the hospital and ready for us. Kate managed to make it to the doorway just as I was ready to go. I held her hand as we walked slowly to the elevator, Mother and Alexis right behind us.

We managed to get her into the car safely and easily, and then I drove off. Mother decided to go with Alexis in her car.

We arrived at the hospital soon enough, and thankfully our doctor was ready for us. Him and the nurses got Kate settled in pretty quickly. While they were busy getting her comfortable, I called Lanie to tell her to come to the hospital. As the call ended I saw Mother and Alexis arriving. Kate had given them the okay to be in the room, so they went in with me to check on her.

The labor went on for hours, making Kate feel even more worried. All she wanted was to hold her baby in her arms. However, as soon as she hit the final stages, things went pretty quickly.

Lanie and I worked on coaching her together, and I allowed her to nearly break my hand. Alexis had left the room, not being able to see Kate in pain. Mother had followed her out, so they were waiting with Ryan, Jenny and Esposito.

Kate pushed with all her might, not breaking her concentration once. The nurses were all at work, monitoring Kate and the baby. The doctor was in full concentration too, telling Kate when to push and when to stop.

And I will never forget the moment when I saw our daughter enter this world. My breath was taken away, and it was as if everyone disappeared for a moment. However, she wasn't crying, and they took her from the room as soon as she was born.

I'm not going to lie, I was worried, very worried. But I put that aside for a moment to look at Kate. She was finally catching her breath, but she wasn't smiling. She hadn't seen her child, and she hadn't heard her cry either. After making sure everything was okay with Kate, the doctor left to follow the nurses and Lanie with him. So there was only me and Kate left.

"Rick… Where is she?" Kate asked, tear in her eyes.

"Where's our daughter?" She asked again.

"They took her away… They're going to help her." I tried to explain.

"I want to see her…" Kate whimpered. I stroked her sweaty hair and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"You did your job, now let the doctors do theirs." I remember telling her that, and begging on the inside that our daughter was okay.

The doctor came back within a few minutes, a smile on his face. He once again got back to work, checking on Kate. He rubbed her belly a bit and asked her to push again. I remember feeling quite nauseous when I saw the placenta. Man! That thing was disgusting!

The doctor thankfully got rid of it and then came back to clean Kate up. And that was when he allowed the nurses to come back in, our little bundle of joy with them. She was clean, in a blanket and breathing. They allowed Lanie to pick her up and place her in Kate's arms. And I remember the look on my wife's face as soon as our daughter was in her arms.

She looked so happy, thankful and proud. She had managed to bring our baby into the world. And she was breathing perfectly it seemed.

"They said she has to stay in the ICU for a while, but at the moment she's doing fine." Lanie told us with a smile. Kate smiled at her as tears of joy fell from her face. "Thank you God for this beautiful baby girl!" Kate said aloud, and I gave her a quick kiss before touching my daughter's tiny hand.

Lanie went out to tell the rest the good news while the nurses helped Kate get out of her shirt so she could feed our daughter.

"What's her name?" Asked the nurse as she rocked the baby in her arms.

"Johanna Hope Castle." Kate said proudly, looking over at me. She then got her daughter back, who happily suckled away.

After she was fed, we got her to sleep and that's when we allowed our friends and family to come in and see her. Alexis looked amazed, while Jenny looked like she wanted one too. Lanie and Esposito simply seemed proud of Beckett. My Mother was proud too, and I remember her so vividly telling me "You did good, kiddo!"

That was the happiest moment of my life. The next week however, was spent with worry as all I did was stare at my baby girl through that glass window. That's when my mind flashed back to that doctor's visit, and I remembered Kate's words so vividly that a little voice in my head seemed to tell me exactly what it had told her that day.

"_I want to give her the world, I want to be her dad. I want to hold her close for as long as I can. And I wanna live every moment until that day comes. I wanna show her what it means to be loved!"_

**So did you guys like the chapter? It's a lot longer than the first chapter, but oh well! I guess the more words the merrier! Not that this story seems very merry at the moment, but oh well! It'll get better! I swear!  
>Anyways, tell me what you think!<strong>

**-Linda.**


	3. What It Means To Be Loved

**What It Means To Be Loved**

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating sooner! I was in a musical, and performance week kept me busy! But I'm done with it now. So I'll have more time for writing. Anyway, thanks again for keeping track of this story. It means so much to me that you guys take time to read it! Thank you all!  
>Enjoy chapter three!<strong>

Chapter 3: What It Means To Be Loved

_Rick Castle's POV_

Johanna stayed in the ICU a bit longer than a week after she was born since she got a high fever when she was three days old. However, she survived it and thank God for that! Kate wouldn't eat or sleep while her baby was sick. All she wanted was to hold her close. However, sometimes it seemed like the only time she was allowed to hold her baby was when she had to feed her.

And that was how it was there. Kate would take care of Johanna while I would have to take care of a very stubborn Kate. The fact that she was exhausting herself wasn't good either. At least Johanna got the sleep she needed.

The day we got to bring her home was one of the happiest of my life. We finally got to dress her in the cute outfits Alexis had bought her, and we got to put her in the car seat we had installed in the backseat.

We drove home, parked the car in the driveway and quietly opened the door. We hadn't told Mother or Alexis that we were coming home that day, as far as they knew, Johanna was still stuck in the hospital.

They were in the kitchen preparing lunch when I walked in, Kate following closely behind me with Johanna in her arms.

"Mother, Daughter, missed me?" I said casually. Alexis gave me a huge hug before heading over to Kate. I knew she would have squealed, but thanks to the baby she didn't do that.

"Welcome home! Why didn't you guys tell us?" Alexis asked.

"Well, we wanted to surprise you." Kate smiled. Johanna looked up at Alexis as she got closer.

"Richard, darling! You should have told us! We would have had a better lunch prepared!" Martha told them.

"No, Martha! Really, I'm smelling some bacon here and I can't wait to dig in! I am done with this pregnancy diet!" Kate said, carefully handing Johanna to Alexis and walking to the kitchen counter where the bacon was located.

Days passed, weeks passed, months passed… Johanna grew and grew each and every day! If she wasn't growing in size, she was growing even deeper into our hearts.

She had more doctors' appointments than any normal child, but since when did I settle for normal? Johanna was just as extraordinary as her mother.

The day Kate returned to work was a hard one. She was so protective of our baby girl and didn't want to let her go.

"Kate, she'll be fine. I'll be here the whole time." I assured her.

"I know… I know, it's just… It's hard…" She admitted, stroking our daughter's little hair tuft as she spoke.

"Call me every hour! And if anything happens…"

"… I will call you and bring her to the hospital. Yes, I know. Now go to work, or you'll be late." I told her and she smiled before kissing both me and Johanna goodbye.

I called her every hour as promised, I sent her pictures when she asked for them and I took care of Johanna just as well as she would have.

When she came home, she immediately took her baby into her arms and just held her. They both ended up falling asleep on the couch.

Well, ever since the day we got to bring Johanna home, she's been out to prove the doctors wrong! She survived surgeries, she survived infections, and she just kept battling on. She was as strong as her mother, that's for sure!

We home schooled her for the first few years. We were extremely protective of her, but for a good reason. However, after begging and begging and begging, we finally allowed her to go to private school in grade 5. She did amazingly in her classes, made many friends and only had two medical emergencies throughout her school years there!

She became a frequent visitor at the precinct and everyone loved her. Esposito and Ryan would always fuss over her, while Lanie would talk to Kate about whatever was new.

When Johanna was 13, she won the 'Best Young Writer's Award'. I was so proud of her! She had been working so hard on her story and when she won she cried. Kate and I took her out for dinner as a reward. It was one of the best days of her life.

Why was that? Well, since her condition was no longer a secret, she had been put down by a lot of people. Most being teachers and fellow classmates. However, her friends and family always stood up for her, and now she had proven to those people who didn't believe that she could be anything she wanted to be!

When Johanna was 15 we were filled with both joy and sorrow. Alexis had a son. He was such a beautiful baby, and there were no complications during delivery. Everything was fine! However, only 2 months after young Christopher Richard was born, we lost Mother.

Sure enough, she had lasted for quite a long time for being a woman her age. However, it was still sad. I was just happy that she got to see her great grandchild before she passed.

That was only a few years ago, but it's still painful. I wish Mother was here to see Johanna.

Yes, oh yes! She should see her now. She's as pretty as her mom. And there's a boy at the front door waiting just to take her to her high school prom.

His name is Taylor, he's 18 like Johanna and is the perfect gentleman. And he wants to give her the world, and wants to hold her hand. And who knows? Someday she may get a wedding band.

I was thinking far into the future, but I knew Kate was thinking the same as she snapped pictures of Johanna and Taylor.

But we knew, whether or not Johanna would end up getting married, that she was going to live every moment until that day comes. And we were going to show her what it means to be loved!

**That's it! It's done! So, tell me what you thought of it! I hope you liked it!**


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